Ambiguity

In my media law class our professor gave us an assignment to read a talk by Bruce C. Hafen, and said that it was a talk that changed his life. I'm always excited to find a great talk to read because I like seeing the way different people use experiences, language, and metaphors to put thoughts together in ways that I have never seen before. Oftentimes I consider a talk "great" when the speaker manages to string together words and experiences in such a way that it describes almost perfectly the same feelings I've had on a subject, but have always been unable to do justice to with my own language. (If that makes any sense at all...)

"Love is not Blind" by Bruce C. Hafen is one of those talks. I feel like it says perfectly the thoughts and feelings on the subject I've had. I honestly think that reading it will at least open one's eyes to a new way of thinking about life and the gospel.

The following is possibly my favorite quote from the talk. Read it and re-read it if you need. You won't regret it.

"If we are not willing to grapple with the frustration that comes from honestly and bravely facing the uncertainties we encounter, we may never develop the kind of spiritual maturity that is necessary for our ultimate preparations. It was Heber C. Kimball who once said that the Church has many close places through which it must yet pass and that those living on borrowed light will not be able to stand when those days come. Thus, we need to develop the capacity to form judgments of our own about the value of ideas, opportunities, or people who may come into our lives. We will not always have the security of knowing whether a certain idea is "Church approved," because new ideas do not always come along with little tags attached to them saying whether the Church has given them the stamp of approval. Whether in the form of music, books, friends, or opportunities to serve, there is much that is "lovely, . . . of good report, [and] praiseworthy" (Article of Faith 13) that is not the subject of detailed discussion in Church manuals or courses of instruction. Those who will not risk exposure to experiences of life that are not obviously related to some well-known Church work or program will, I believe, live less abundant and meaningful lives than the Lord intends. We must develop sufficient independence of judgment and maturity of perspective that we are prepared to handle the shafts and whirlwinds of adversity and contradiction that are so likely to come along in our lives. When those times come, we cannot be living on borrowed light. We should not be deceived by the clear-cut labels some may use to describe circumstances that are, in fact, not so clear. Our encounters with reality and disappointment are in fact vital stages in the development of our maturity and understanding"

Don't think I'm using this to justify my own vices, nor to think it is okay (or even better) to learn evils through experience. All I'm saying is that closed-mindedness won't lead a person in the right direction. Perhaps recognizing that there exists a twisted path is the only way we can appreciate the straight and narrow one. And perhaps the straight and narrow path isn't as tight-rope thin as we make it out to be.

I can't do the talk justice. You're better off just reading it.

Honesty, anonymously

Try saying that 3 times fast!

I have a friend (who is a girl) who just moved in to a new ward. (I'm not sure if she reads my blog or not, so if you know this is about you and you're upset that I know the following about you, I'm sorry! Please don't be mad!)

That being said, she told a guy friend of mine that she wanted to make a good impression on the guys in her new ward and was wondering what it was she could do to be more attractive physically and in personality. She believes she has an issues with quickly becoming a friend and never moving past that phase.

Frankly, I like this approach of hers and I would like to propose that all of you who read this blog (and who know me personally) do the same.

The rules:

1. Be anonymous. When posting your comments/opinions, sign out of your own account and don't include your name. I'm fairly certain this is possible for everyone, but I'm not positive. I believe this will help people feel open to express their true opinions. (I think when it asks you to choose the profile you're posting as, there is an option to post as "anonymous.")
   
2. Be specific. If it's my hair, my dress, my musk, don't just state it. Let me know what you think I could/should do to be more appealing/pleasant.
3. Be honest. Remember that because it is anonymous I REALLY WON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I mean, I know who follows my blog and all, but I won't be able to match the comments with the profiles. And I won't look for ways to match them up either, because I don't care. I just want your true opinions/thoughts on the matter.
   
4. Be diverse. Try to include both physical and personality suggestions if you can.
   

I was going to include a 5th rule saying not to be rude, but I know none of you are so I don't worry about that :-) Of course you all know I can take a joke so it's not like you can't throw a jab here and there.

This is not an exercise in self-esteem building or compliment fishing! You can compliment, but only if you have a suggestion/opinion/general betterment to offer with it. And don't feel like you need to compliment me to offset a suggestion you have. I won't take it personally!

I really appreciate people's input. I've described my dating woes as self-inflicted a few times before, and it hasn't changed quite yet. But I would like to be prepared as best I can as soon as I finally come to my senses.

And that is about to happen very soon. I can feel it coming.