I haven't felt as unmotivated in a long time as I do today. It's a constant battle I always seem to have to fight, but at some point or another, I always seem to have days where I'm just not motivated at all.
Things that propel my unmotivation:
- Everyone else seems to be better at everything that is useful. I am not really excellent at anything.
- I struggle to find things that interest me. I just don't care about anything. Actually, what I should say is that I feel like I don't care about anything. Disinterest plagues me.
- I'm forgetful. The more I forget to do, the more I feel like I am unreliable. The more unreliable I feel I am, the less interest I have in doing anything because I feel like I will just fail.
- I feel like the things I learn in my classes are the "easy way out." Maybe (hopefully) all that really means is that I understand principles of advertising/marketing naturally, and that I'll be good at it for however long I actually am in that field. At the same time, I just feel like other people are learning much more sophisticated things in their majors, and it makes me feel less educated. But I'm not interested in those other things enough to actually study them.
- I'm lazy. It seems like I have no problem going out and getting my errands done, but I cannot, for the life of me, get anything else that I should be getting done, done.
That's all for now. I just needed to get my thoughts written out. Hopefully my next post about my personal theme for 2010 will be more optimistic/less depressing.
