The biggest problem with not having been in a relationship for so long is that when one starts to come up, I enact a self-fulfilling prophecy by worrying that I'm going to mess things up.
Why can't I be less of a girl and stop over analyzing everything? (No offense to any girls reading this.)
Nope, instead I read into every little thing and play it up to be something much bigger than it probably is.
To anyone else who has this problem: what are your coping techniques? Advice?
You're a great guy, Bob, with lots of awesome qualities. Be confident in what you can offer and see this potential relationship as an opportunity to get to know and love another person. Will you mess up? Duh! You're a guy and she's a girl--two people still figuing themselves out and where they fit in the world. Don't be afraid of messing up. Just be natural (trite but true) and take a chance.
ReplyDeleteEasier said than done, of course. But risks always bring experience and (usually) added wisdom. So why wouldn't you want to give it a full-fledged shot?
(This is the pep talk I usually have to give myself when I feel my fears taking over...take it or leave it :-) )
The bad news is - being in a relationship doesn't stop the worrying.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is - like Katie said - you're a great guy. I daresay, you're an amazing one. And any girl would be beyond lucky to have you for keeps. Or, at very least, a relatively-long-period-of-time-keeps.
Just be yourself. No one can mess up being themselves, even if that includes messing a lot of stuff up a lot of the time (I speak from experience.) And if someone can't appreciate you for who you are, it's their loss.
Just follow your heart, listen to your gut, and keep living your life. Everything will fall into place.
I'm so sorry you're frustrated. I know how awful that can be. But I'm SERIOUS - be yourself. Because I, and a lot of people out there, think you. Are. Wonderful.