In tolerance

If you can think of what movie/TV show has a line about being so famous, you're IN famous (as a description of that infamous means) the you get 100 points and my respect, because I can't remember what it's from.

Anyway, my story begins as such: I was watching the Super Bowl and saw an awesome ad saying that Denny's will be giving out free breakfast to every American on Tuesday February 3rd. (Today). So we got a big group all excited to go (at least 12 or 13 people said they'd show up at out apartment at 7 am, 0 of whom followed through, meaning at 12 or 13 who completely bailed/flaked out.), I set my alarm for 6:45 (and 6:47 and 6:50 because I know myself and my snooze is 5 minutes), and when I woke up we heard that the line around Denny's (not IN Denny's, but AROUND it) was way too long to be worth it. Grrr. I'll live. I made my own pancakes and eggs and toast and OJ and called it my own free mini slam breakfast. I'm over it.

In my grief I set my status on Facebook to: "Bob is a little mad at Denny's for their super duper long line today and ruining our plans. Crappy free breakfast promise: curse you!" Someone commented saying "And this is just a glimpse of what life would be like if we had 'free' healthcare! AAARRRRGGHHHH!"

...

For a long time I was confused about why I seem to be one of a few who doesn't have really strong political opinions. I kept thinking that I must not be as educated, or perhaps not as involved as other people. Recently I've realized I'm just more of a "white" personality. (Not Caucasian. Refer to The Color Code to know what I really mean.) I'm a peacekeeper. I see all sides to practically everything. There are still things that I'm stubborn about, but deep down I can usually see why people believe what they believe.

I think rather than pushing our views onto people, we should try to understand where others come from. That sounds cliché, but whatever. We need tolerance in the world, not dramatic debates.

You're never going to find a policy (outside of the gospel) that can satisfy everyone. Free national healthcare? Interesting how it's mostly the wealthy that are against it and the poor that are for it. So maybe the woman who posted the comment to my status doesn't want there to be "long lines" in order for her to get health care. When's the last time she had to stand in line at a soup kitchen to get free food? She doesn't need to because she can pay for it otherwise. It seems ridiculous to her to need to wait for the throngs in order to get medical help. What if she couldn't afford it otherwise? I bet her opinion would change. Seems to me like pushing political theory will always hurt some and help some. So get off your high horse if you think you've got the "right opinion." You'll almost always notice me get an uncomfortable look when I'm around people who talk politics, partly because I don't know what they're talking about, partly because I don't care, and mostly because I play devil's advocate with them in my head and resolve to believing they think they're more right than they actually are.

Intolerance can be acceptable I think, notably when the intolerance is directed at a person/group being intolerant. (Nazi Germany is the first that comes to mind.) The Savior being intolerant of the moneychangers in the temple is another example. It's not a sin to be intolerant of sin. (For our everyday purposes, however, it may be a sin to be intolerant of a sinner. Excommunication/disfellowship(ment?) is meant to help the individual in the process to repentance, not as a punishment.)

Anyway, we should learn to be so tolerant that we're "IN tolerance" :-) I.e. tolerance surrounds us in such a way that we can accept what happens in life with a smile and an understanding that what doesn't kill us just makes us stronger. (If not physically, then at least metaphorically.)

Suggestions from a white personality with very limited experience:

• Put yourself in someone else's shoes.
• Don't be quick to judge.

• Try to do someone else's homework at least once (not as service, but as a humbling activity for yourself).
• Every time you find a bad quality in someone, match it with at least one equally-weighted good quality.
• Only poke fun at people you know would feel comfortable poking fun at you.
• Don't say "poke fun" in public. It's an annoying phrase. While you're at it, don't say the word "utilize" either. Ironically enough, the word "utilize" is useless. Just say "use." :-)
• Don't be judgmental of those who DO say "poke fun" or "utilize."

Yeah, I know I don't have much good advice. I suppose they're really just a few of the guidelines that I try to live by in general. Whatever. Leave your thoughts, cause I often like them more than my own.

1 Cor. 13:13

I think epiphanies are some of the greatest experiences ever. I always loved having epiphanies on the mission, especially during personal study time in the morning. Of course, in many cases, epiphany is just a more common word for revelation as far as the world is concerned. But that doesn't concern me. I like both words.

One of my favorite epiphanies I had on my mission has to do with faith, hope, charity, and love. They were concepts that I could associate other words, thoughts, and feelings with individually without thinking too much about it. I have faith in Jesus Christ. I have hope for an eternal life. I try to be charitable to those around me. I love my family and friends. Easy.

I could also give definitions from memory, such as "faith is not a perfect knowledge, but a hope of things are are not seen but are true."

But what's the tie?

Finally I realized that it isn't by chance these four words--faith, hope, charity, and love--go together. Faith is a HOPE of things which aren't seen but are true. Charity is the pure LOVE of Christ.

My mind often works in little Venn diagrams. I imagine a big circle called "Hope." Inside that circle, there is another circle that fits entirely inside called "Faith." Faith is a specific kind of hope. If you have faith, you necessarily have hope. However, if you have hope, you don't necessarily have faith.

Of course there's another Venn diagram with a big circle titled "Love," which has a smaller circle titled "Charity" inside. By having charity, you are exercising love. However, by exercising love you are not necessarily exercising charity.

If charity is just the pure love of Christ, how did he love differently than others in such a way as to necessitate a separate category?

Here's a little excerpt from my mission study journal on the subject:

"Charity is a gift from God (see Preach My Gospel "Charity & Love"). Normal love is attained by a person and is often accompanied and strengthened by the love or friendship of another. Charity, however, is a gift from God. It is a love for all, those who love in return and who hate in return.

"John 15:17-20 - 'If the world hate you, know that is hated [Christ] before it hated you... The world would love his own (if you were of the world).'

"The world makes friends with those who are friends to worldly things. The instant that a person changes or tries to better themselves and overcome the world, the world will mock that person. However, the pure love of Christ (charity) 'seeketh not her own' (Moroni 7:45) but breaks past and reaches out to all, even those (or maybe especially those) who aren't charitable in return.

"Therefore, to receive this love we must ask for it and work for it. We can't ask to love the Portuguese and then get mad at someone who rejects the message, etc. Moroni exhorts us to pray for this love (Moroni 7:48)."

I just remembered an experience I had on my mission where I said something in a lesson that I had never thought about before, but made perfect sense with this same topic. We were referring to Christ's teachings about loving others.

Matt. 5:43-44 - "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you."

Christ says you should love your enemies. He doesn't mention, however, anything about not having enemies. The commandment has more to do with loving those that don't return love, and is not about only associating with those that do. If we only needed to show love towards those that love us back (the world would love his own...), we wouldn't learn much about the kind of pure love Christ showed to all people--charity.

I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father operates through the "Charity" circle of the "Love" diagram. Otherwise his love would be conditional upon our own actions, and that is NOT the principle behind forgiveness.

I guess you could say this is why being offended is a problem for the offended person and not the offender. (David A. Bednar's the man!) The offended needs to rid themselves of pride and realize that they need to forgive the offense in order to really be working towards a charitable act of loving those that don't show the love in return. To dwell on an offense is to remain outside the "Charity" circle because the love is only conditional.

Random key words/phrases that run through my mind on this topic:

*Forgiveness
*Charity is not easy
*Christ's example
*The Lord not giving up on us, even with our faults
*Philia
*Amae - our need to receive charity/to be loved and taken care of (as opposed to our need to love others)
*Persian love proverb:

Even after all this time

The sun never says to the earth, "You owe me."

Look what happens with a Love like that!

—It lights the whole Sky. (Hafiz)