No Regrets

"I would rather regret the things that I have done than the things that I have not." - Lucille Ball

"The only thing you live to regret are the risks you didn't take." - ?

I really wish I could remember who first told me about the concept of making decisions based on a "no regrets" principle.

It is a genius and terrifying idea. I'm going to try it.

Basic idea: make your more important decisions by asking yourself "will I regret it if I don't _______?" If you will, then DO IT! If you won't, then it doesn't matter either way, so you can stop worrying about it.

My life is plagued with bruises created from kicking myself for not doing or saying something I now wish I had, risks I wish I had taken, and rewards I know I sacrificed because I didn't.

I just have to think, "what do I really have to lose? Pride? Self-esteem?" The truth is the only thing I usually have to lose is an opportunity, and I have already lost too many of those.

"Looking back, I have this regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so." - David Gayson

P.s. just for fun: another way I make decisions between two alternatives is to flip a coin and then gauge how I feel based on the outcome. If I'm disappointed, I know I really wanted the other outcome. Do any of you have other good methods of making decisions?

Body, Mind, Spirit, and Miscellaneous

I made goals at the beginning this year. I'm not going to mention how well I'm doing at achieving them, but let it be known that I'm not failing at them all :-) Just most of them...

Anyway, I was thinking today about goals, and I realized that maybe a way to keep my goals on the top of my mind is to set goals each month instead of each year. (I can still set yearly goals, but maybe make my monthly goals more specific and make sure they help me achieve my long-term goals.)

So I read a good post about posture the other day and realized that I need to improve mine. Then on my way to the adlab today I realized I should also find ways to improve my memory (because it's terrible unless I'm dealing with numbers). Then I thought, "well I've got a 'body' goal and a 'mind' goal, why not have a 'spirit' goal too?" Then I thought, "but if I have all those, then I won't be able to have a more fun goal, like learning to juggle, typing the right way, or whistling loud. But what would I call that?"

So now I have my very own "Body, Mind, Spirit, and Miscellaneous" self-improvement system. I'm going to come up with a goal in each one of those categories, and try to improve that part of my life for a month. My hope is that it will become habit by the end of the month, and I can move on to another goal. (For example, I won't have to consciously think about improving my posture, but will hopefully do it out of habit.)

(As a side note, I can do as many goals in the "Miscellaneous" category as I want in a month. I can also go above and beyond in any of the categories if I want.)

So in August we have:

Body - Improve my posture. I am going to keep my back straight when I sit and stand, and keep my head up as I walk. It help me to think about how not slouching stops my ribs from cramming my stomach organs forward as it talks about in the Art of Manliness blog referenced above. Cause that's just gross. And this way I'll probably have even more of a rippling 6-pack than I already have. Yes... the one I already have...

Mind - Improve my memory. Whenever someone tell me their name, I'm going to remember it. I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to accomplish this yet, but I think the Wilk actually holds little classes/gives suggestions on how to improve your memory skills, so I may just go look into that.

Spirit - Improve my scripture study. I've always been very on and off with scripture reading. Instead of focusing on the amount of time I read every day, I'm going to read for at least 5 minutes every day, but also write at least one sentence down about something I learned/felt while reading. I hope to be able to increase the time/amount that I write in the future, but for now this will suffice.

Misc. - Read more. Other than scripture study, I want to read more. I've been doing alright this past week in reading, but I know once I finish the book I'm on I'll have to have another one waiting for me or else I may not continue. I would like to read at least a book a month, even when things get crazy in the Fall.

There you have it. Feel free to stay on top of me with these and ask me how they're going. Maybe a little accountability is what I need to keep me going.

Also, if you read all the way through this post, please leave me a quick comment, even just to say "I read it all." I would like to know who actually reads my blog! :-) Thanks!

Hodgepodge

So I started this little collection of random thoughts a few weeks ago, and just realized I haven't been adding much to it, so I thought I'd just finally post it.

Answers to my own questions:
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? Isn't the answer right there in front of you? San Diego! (Yes, I know that's just her name, but play along...)

How often do I ever answer my own questions? During prayer? During reflection? During self-evaluation? When is the answer right in front of my face? If we're really looking for it that hard, why can't we find it when it's so obvious?

Universalities
There are no hard-and-fast rules to practically anything! Name the rule, someone could probably name the exception.

Nike gives good advice when they say "just do it." It's harder than it sounds, but I guess that's what Nike's all about.

People (myself DEFINITELY included) need to lighten up and just enjoy things and learn to be empathetic. I should lose the sarcasm and learn to listen to people effectively.

Politicians are in a prime position to use superordinate goals to unite all people trying to make this country better, but instead they bicker and whine and thereby accomplish only a fraction of what they could. Compromise is a much less desirable conflict resolution method than using superordinate goals to accomplish a common goal.

Too Dizzy

I know that's not the right kind of "to."

So in one of my random Wikipedia-skipping adventures (you know, the ones where you go to look one thing up and end up reading about 20 different articles? It's sort of a brain-cell-strengthening version of surfing videos on YouTube since you actually feel more informed afterward...), I came across the Wikipedia article for Madonna. I had no idea she was born in Michigan!

Anyway, I was really impressed to read about her beginnings. Here's a selection:

"Madonna's ballet teacher persuaded her to pursue a career in dance, so she left the college at the end of 1977 and relocated to New York City.^[20] Madonna had little money and for some time lived in squalor, working at Dunkin' Donuts and with modern dance troupes.^[21] Speaking of her move to New York, Madonna said, "It was the first time I'd ever taken a plane, the first time I'd ever gotten a taxi cab. I came here with $35 in my pocket. It was the bravest thing I'd ever done."

I think of all the times I've considered being a musician, or an actor, or a photographer, and how every time I abandoned the idea because the road would be too hard and I was worried about what people might think. It makes me think of when children say they want to be astronauts. At what point does that dream fade? When do kids stop saying they want to be an astronaut (or a policeman, or fireman, etc.) and say "I want to go into electrical engineering," or "I think I want to be in accounting." Not to say there's anything wrong with wanting those things, but what changed? Is it that they honestly no longer wanted to be an astronaut? Or did they worry about what other people would think? Or was it just too hefty of a goal for them?

DON'T LET THE OUTSIDE INFLUENCE WHO YOU WANT TO BE ON THE INSIDE!!! Although environmental factors play a big role in who we become, once we reach a conscious state in which we can actively make choices as to who we become, we don't need to let ourselves be controlled by other factors than our own will.

Speaking of will:



Lizzy: LIVE YOUR LIFE! BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE NO MATTER WHAT. NO MATTER HOW ANYONE ELSE MAKES YOU THINK OR FEEL!!!! I know that was basically verbatim what you asked to hear, so I'm sorry for my lack of originality in this paragraph. Hopefully something else in this blog helps too though.

Do what you want to do, and don't let someone else determine what that is. Develop your skills and personality to mold yourself into who YOU want to be, not who you think someone else wants you to be. One of my biggest fears as a missionary was that people would join the church because they liked the missionaries and didn't want to disappoint us. I was afraid of that because either the investigators would lose their testimonies uber fast, or they would never really gain one in the first place. One of the most important things about constantly re-gaining a testimony is that you need to want it. If I just go to church because I don't want to disappoint someone else, can I honestly believe that I am progressing?? Sure I may be learning things that I wouldn't learn otherwise, but what good is it if I have no motivation to apply the things I learn??

Take time to meditate for a while, extricate the outside influences from your thoughts, and draw up all the plans of things you want to do with your life and who you want to be. Include detail and maybe a few deadlines. Make some pros-and-cons lists. Then pray and ask what Heavenly Father thinks about it all. (I guess I would be wrong in saying ignore ALL outside influences then, huh? Whoops.) The difference is that God won't judge you for who you decide to become as long as you're doing what's right in the eternal perspective.

Then remember that everything cool comes from Michigan (including Madonna) and eat some amazing homemade Winger's chicken.