Yes, Dear, King of Queens, and Everybody Loves Raymond

are the same shows!

Men are irresponsible, thoughtless, lazy pacifists.

Women are controlling, nagging dictators.

There is no compromise, no serious discussion, very few kinds acts, way too much bickering.

Unfortunately, I think these shows are popular because too many people think it is "so true."

Some lines from the shows:

"What keeps me from cheating on you?"

"I will DIVORCE you."

I could keep going on, but it depresses me a little bit.

My own (500) Days of Summer input

Inspired by Virginia's post about this movie, I thought I would add my own random, probably poorly-thought-out thoughts.

I sincerely hope that when the narrator at the end was saying that Tom Hansen had learned that there was no such thing as fate and destiny, that he wasn't being sarcastic.

Okay, I take that back. What I should say is I'm disappointed that the narrator was being sarcastic when he said "Tom had finally learned that there are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate. Nothing is meant to be. He knew. He was sure of it now..."

Granted, it flows well with the theme of the movie. I just don't agree with it. (Well, except the miracles part, but not in the context they're talking about). There really is no such thing as fate or a "meant to be." If you feel you love someone and they don't love you back, I don't believe it means that s/he just wasn't the one. Because there is no "one."

It was an interesting conversation with a guy down the hall who said he doesn't believe in praying to find out if a certain person is the right person to be with. I thought about that for a long time, and finally came to believe that he's right. I would rather pray to say that I had made a choice and felt good about it. Free agency still applies in love and marriage.

I loved how real the movie was! It really wasn't a chick flick love story inundating me with cliché lines and expectations that were unrealistically met:

1) Why is it so many people have those dreams about losing a tooth, falling, being in a tornado, etc.? Weird.

2) We don't just use first impressions to judge people. We often judge before we even meet people, before we give them a chance. Like when Tom heard from his friend that Summer was a prude (paraphrased). Then he's all "why is it pretty girls feel like they can treat other people like crap" (Also paraphrased).

3) Or when she said she had a good weekend. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has read way too deep into things. Can I get an amen?

4) We use a selective memory. "Next time you look back, I really think you should look again."

5) Getting invited to a party by someone you like will rarely turn out the way you expect. More than once I've been invited to a party by someone I liked only to find myself surrounded by a bunch of her friends that I don't know, talking to a few strangers for awhile before I realize how stupid I was to fall for the old "come to my party" trick again, and leaving.

Anyway, I'm sure there's a bunch more I could say, but it's technically Christmas and Santa still hasn't come because I'm still awake, so.... yeah. Goodnight!

Things like this remind me how I'm not excellent at anything

I mean, it's great that people can get so good at something. It renews my faith in people's persistence, even if it's in little things like yo-yo tricks.

But then I remember that although I'm pretty good at a lot of things, I'm not GREAT at anything!

I guess the easy way out is to say I'm great at being okay at a lot of things. But that doesn't count.

This is someone I know's brother. I would call her a friend, but we only hung out once. She plays hockey though, so she's got to be pretty awesome, right?

Rants

It's probably not a good practice to not write in my blog for almost 3 months, and then have my first post in such a long time be complaining.

I was going to complain about how chick flicks make dating more difficult for guys, but I think I'll let Matt do that since I'm sure he can be much more elaborate than I.

I did, however, just catch myself up on the whole Max Hall controversy thing, including watching his press conference and reading the apology statement issued earlier tonight. It all started from seeing a Facebook group called "Max Hall is classless."

My take:
Hall was frustrated from the things that Utah fans did to his family last year. He's understandably upset and was (probably wrongfully) using the press conference to vent his anger.

That being said, I've heard so many things about incidents started/perpetuated by Utah fans that I can't believe it is just a coincidence. I know BYU fans do/say things out of line (believe me, sitting in the west seats during the 2007 BYU - Utah game was enough for me to be disappointed with even the elderly BYU fans...). But ripping out goal posts at the opponents field? C'mon Utah.

Also, the language used on the Facebook page by the Utah fans isn't really helping their case against Hall's remarks. And not that it's related, but their language isn't helping me gain a respect for their academics either, especially when I see Utah fans using words like "unsincere." (by more than one person...)

Oh well. I thank Utah for a great game Saturday. It was a lot of fun to be at. I'm done complaining about this.

Ambiguity

In my media law class our professor gave us an assignment to read a talk by Bruce C. Hafen, and said that it was a talk that changed his life. I'm always excited to find a great talk to read because I like seeing the way different people use experiences, language, and metaphors to put thoughts together in ways that I have never seen before. Oftentimes I consider a talk "great" when the speaker manages to string together words and experiences in such a way that it describes almost perfectly the same feelings I've had on a subject, but have always been unable to do justice to with my own language. (If that makes any sense at all...)

"Love is not Blind" by Bruce C. Hafen is one of those talks. I feel like it says perfectly the thoughts and feelings on the subject I've had. I honestly think that reading it will at least open one's eyes to a new way of thinking about life and the gospel.

The following is possibly my favorite quote from the talk. Read it and re-read it if you need. You won't regret it.

"If we are not willing to grapple with the frustration that comes from honestly and bravely facing the uncertainties we encounter, we may never develop the kind of spiritual maturity that is necessary for our ultimate preparations. It was Heber C. Kimball who once said that the Church has many close places through which it must yet pass and that those living on borrowed light will not be able to stand when those days come. Thus, we need to develop the capacity to form judgments of our own about the value of ideas, opportunities, or people who may come into our lives. We will not always have the security of knowing whether a certain idea is "Church approved," because new ideas do not always come along with little tags attached to them saying whether the Church has given them the stamp of approval. Whether in the form of music, books, friends, or opportunities to serve, there is much that is "lovely, . . . of good report, [and] praiseworthy" (Article of Faith 13) that is not the subject of detailed discussion in Church manuals or courses of instruction. Those who will not risk exposure to experiences of life that are not obviously related to some well-known Church work or program will, I believe, live less abundant and meaningful lives than the Lord intends. We must develop sufficient independence of judgment and maturity of perspective that we are prepared to handle the shafts and whirlwinds of adversity and contradiction that are so likely to come along in our lives. When those times come, we cannot be living on borrowed light. We should not be deceived by the clear-cut labels some may use to describe circumstances that are, in fact, not so clear. Our encounters with reality and disappointment are in fact vital stages in the development of our maturity and understanding"

Don't think I'm using this to justify my own vices, nor to think it is okay (or even better) to learn evils through experience. All I'm saying is that closed-mindedness won't lead a person in the right direction. Perhaps recognizing that there exists a twisted path is the only way we can appreciate the straight and narrow one. And perhaps the straight and narrow path isn't as tight-rope thin as we make it out to be.

I can't do the talk justice. You're better off just reading it.

Honesty, anonymously

Try saying that 3 times fast!

I have a friend (who is a girl) who just moved in to a new ward. (I'm not sure if she reads my blog or not, so if you know this is about you and you're upset that I know the following about you, I'm sorry! Please don't be mad!)

That being said, she told a guy friend of mine that she wanted to make a good impression on the guys in her new ward and was wondering what it was she could do to be more attractive physically and in personality. She believes she has an issues with quickly becoming a friend and never moving past that phase.

Frankly, I like this approach of hers and I would like to propose that all of you who read this blog (and who know me personally) do the same.

The rules:

1. Be anonymous. When posting your comments/opinions, sign out of your own account and don't include your name. I'm fairly certain this is possible for everyone, but I'm not positive. I believe this will help people feel open to express their true opinions. (I think when it asks you to choose the profile you're posting as, there is an option to post as "anonymous.")
   
2. Be specific. If it's my hair, my dress, my musk, don't just state it. Let me know what you think I could/should do to be more appealing/pleasant.
3. Be honest. Remember that because it is anonymous I REALLY WON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I mean, I know who follows my blog and all, but I won't be able to match the comments with the profiles. And I won't look for ways to match them up either, because I don't care. I just want your true opinions/thoughts on the matter.
   
4. Be diverse. Try to include both physical and personality suggestions if you can.
   

I was going to include a 5th rule saying not to be rude, but I know none of you are so I don't worry about that :-) Of course you all know I can take a joke so it's not like you can't throw a jab here and there.

This is not an exercise in self-esteem building or compliment fishing! You can compliment, but only if you have a suggestion/opinion/general betterment to offer with it. And don't feel like you need to compliment me to offset a suggestion you have. I won't take it personally!

I really appreciate people's input. I've described my dating woes as self-inflicted a few times before, and it hasn't changed quite yet. But I would like to be prepared as best I can as soon as I finally come to my senses.

And that is about to happen very soon. I can feel it coming.

August goals

 I think I like the picture at the beginning of the post. It adds feeling.

Alright, well a recap of my August goals:

Body - Improve my posture: I've done pretty well. I've been much more aware of how I hold myself, and have tried to straighten up (physically, not behaviorally). I can't tell how much it has helped, but I like to think I've start to make it a habit at least to notice my posture every now and then.

Mind - Improve my memory: I haven't done very well with this. Fortunately with the new semester starting and my increased responsibility to remember names of ward members, I think September may be a better month for this. I will make it one of my mind goals again.

Spirit - Improve my scripture study: It has definitely improved a lot! I really like the read-less-write-more technique, and will definitely be continuing it (hopefully with even more regularity) until I find something better. I think I made it a little more than every 3rd day in August, which I think I can attribute to the business of travelling. (Attribute, NOT excuse...)

Misc. - read more: Definitely doing well. I finished The Glass Castle a couple of weeks ago (thank you unnecessarily long routes to Detroit! SLC - Phoenix - Atlanta - Detroit) and I am about halfway through Ender's Game. I think once school starts it will be more of a challenge to read for recreation, but I will try to continue it. If I see myself trailing off, I may have to make it another misc. goal again.

Keep me accountable! I'll try to come up with some really good September goals now.

Photo from here

The Chase

I just figured this out about myself... again: I like the chase a lot, but I don't care too much for the catch.

Similar to my roommate's recent post, I think having what I want isn't what makes me happy, it's the thrill of wanting something I don't have. Not necessarily something I can't have, but just something I don't have. And maybe it's not just me. Perhaps this is the same reason why material things can't really bring you happiness.

In dating, it seems like as soon as I develop a crush on someone, I don't want to lose that wonderful/slightly ill feeling I get whenever I see them, talk to them, think of them, etc. I think subconsciously I want that feeling to stick around, so I take no action. I don't ask them out, I just hang out. I don't take risks, but I play it safe. I guess maybe I worry that if they're not interested, I'll have to replace that wonderful feeling I associate with them with a feeling of rejection.

But that gets me nowhere! I've already posted a few times about not passing up opportunities, but I have such a hard time actually taking advantage of them! (Granted, I have been doing better recently.)

So here it is: I want to hear your suggestions on how I need to go about changing my nature of passing up good dating opportunities when they're presented. Any rants/raves/ideas you have are welcome.

Driving adventures

Between Monday, July 26 and Monday, August 3 I drove:

Provo to Cedar City: 206 miles
Las Vegas to Provo: 385 miles
Provo to Enoch: 206 miles
Enoch to Zion National Park and back: 131 miles
Enoch to Cedar Breaks and back: 65 miles
Cedar City to Las Vegas: 187 miles
Cedar City to Provo: 206 miles
------------------------------------------
Subtotal: 1,386 miles

From Monday July 26 to Monday August 3 I was a passenger for:

Cedar City to Las Vegas: 187 miles
Las Vegas to Cedar City: 187 miles
Cedar City to St. George and back: 122 miles
------------------------------------------
Subtotal: 496 miles
+ 1,386 miles
=========================
Total mileage in the car: 1,882 miles

Also about 1,882 miles from Provo: Toronto, Ontario, Canada, Pittsburgh, PA, and Fort Knox, KY (with about 200 miles to spare for getaway driving time after knocking off the bullion depository.)

Google maps won't let me drive to Mexico. Probably because of the Swine Flu and the water.

Body, Mind, Spirit, and Miscellaneous

I made goals at the beginning this year. I'm not going to mention how well I'm doing at achieving them, but let it be known that I'm not failing at them all :-) Just most of them...

Anyway, I was thinking today about goals, and I realized that maybe a way to keep my goals on the top of my mind is to set goals each month instead of each year. (I can still set yearly goals, but maybe make my monthly goals more specific and make sure they help me achieve my long-term goals.)

So I read a good post about posture the other day and realized that I need to improve mine. Then on my way to the adlab today I realized I should also find ways to improve my memory (because it's terrible unless I'm dealing with numbers). Then I thought, "well I've got a 'body' goal and a 'mind' goal, why not have a 'spirit' goal too?" Then I thought, "but if I have all those, then I won't be able to have a more fun goal, like learning to juggle, typing the right way, or whistling loud. But what would I call that?"

So now I have my very own "Body, Mind, Spirit, and Miscellaneous" self-improvement system. I'm going to come up with a goal in each one of those categories, and try to improve that part of my life for a month. My hope is that it will become habit by the end of the month, and I can move on to another goal. (For example, I won't have to consciously think about improving my posture, but will hopefully do it out of habit.)

(As a side note, I can do as many goals in the "Miscellaneous" category as I want in a month. I can also go above and beyond in any of the categories if I want.)

So in August we have:

Body - Improve my posture. I am going to keep my back straight when I sit and stand, and keep my head up as I walk. It help me to think about how not slouching stops my ribs from cramming my stomach organs forward as it talks about in the Art of Manliness blog referenced above. Cause that's just gross. And this way I'll probably have even more of a rippling 6-pack than I already have. Yes... the one I already have...

Mind - Improve my memory. Whenever someone tell me their name, I'm going to remember it. I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to accomplish this yet, but I think the Wilk actually holds little classes/gives suggestions on how to improve your memory skills, so I may just go look into that.

Spirit - Improve my scripture study. I've always been very on and off with scripture reading. Instead of focusing on the amount of time I read every day, I'm going to read for at least 5 minutes every day, but also write at least one sentence down about something I learned/felt while reading. I hope to be able to increase the time/amount that I write in the future, but for now this will suffice.

Misc. - Read more. Other than scripture study, I want to read more. I've been doing alright this past week in reading, but I know once I finish the book I'm on I'll have to have another one waiting for me or else I may not continue. I would like to read at least a book a month, even when things get crazy in the Fall.

There you have it. Feel free to stay on top of me with these and ask me how they're going. Maybe a little accountability is what I need to keep me going.

Also, if you read all the way through this post, please leave me a quick comment, even just to say "I read it all." I would like to know who actually reads my blog! :-) Thanks!