I sincerely hope that when the narrator at the end was saying that Tom Hansen had learned that there was no such thing as fate and destiny, that he wasn't being sarcastic.
Okay, I take that back. What I should say is I'm disappointed that the narrator was being sarcastic when he said "Tom had finally learned that there are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate. Nothing is meant to be. He knew. He was sure of it now..."
Granted, it flows well with the theme of the movie. I just don't agree with it. (Well, except the miracles part, but not in the context they're talking about). There really is no such thing as fate or a "meant to be." If you feel you love someone and they don't love you back, I don't believe it means that s/he just wasn't the one. Because there is no "one."
It was an interesting conversation with a guy down the hall who said he doesn't believe in praying to find out if a certain person is the right person to be with. I thought about that for a long time, and finally came to believe that he's right. I would rather pray to say that I had made a choice and felt good about it. Free agency still applies in love and marriage.
I loved how real the movie was! It really wasn't a chick flick love story inundating me with cliché lines and expectations that were unrealistically met:
1) Why is it so many people have those dreams about losing a tooth, falling, being in a tornado, etc.? Weird.
2) We don't just use first impressions to judge people. We often judge before we even meet people, before we give them a chance. Like when Tom heard from his friend that Summer was a prude (paraphrased). Then he's all "why is it pretty girls feel like they can treat other people like crap" (Also paraphrased).
3) Or when she said she had a good weekend. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has read way too deep into things. Can I get an amen?
4) We use a selective memory. "Next time you look back, I really think you should look again."
5) Getting invited to a party by someone you like will rarely turn out the way you expect. More than once I've been invited to a party by someone I liked only to find myself surrounded by a bunch of her friends that I don't know, talking to a few strangers for awhile before I realize how stupid I was to fall for the old "come to my party" trick again, and leaving.
Anyway, I'm sure there's a bunch more I could say, but it's technically Christmas and Santa still hasn't come because I'm still awake, so.... yeah. Goodnight!
I like your analysis. To #3, a-freaking-men. I also loved how real it is! I think everyone at one point has been either Summer or Tom which makes the movie so much more relatable than the perfect love story.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the "expectation / reality" bit. Especially because I (and I think most guys) play things out in our minds before they happen. Conversations, parties, phone calls, parts of dates...just visualizing, anticipating what they'll say, how you'll respond, etc.
ReplyDeleteI feel crazy describing it, but I've talked to lots of other guys who do it too. And I'm sure that some girls do it too, it just seems (from talking to them) that they don't do it as much.
I think #4 can work the other way, too. In the sense that when you look back on a relationship that ended badly or that had a fair amount of rough spots, you only remember the bad times and none of the good.
ReplyDeleteAnd definitely amen to #3. definitely.
I liked this post a lot Bob.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with #4 too. That was interesting in the movie when he looked back he remember the bad too. Like brown eyed girl said, sometimes we look back and only see the bad.
I really liked the expectation/reality part too. So so so true!
Matt- I would say that girls play it out in their minds more than guys do, but maybe I haven't talked to enough guys about it, so I wouldn't be able to compare.
Very realistic movie.