In reflecting on what it is that attracts me to certain people and not others, I think I've finally found that a good sense of humor is the personality trait for me that can make all the difference! What a great realization. I've always known it was important, but I was recently thinking about people I was initially attracted to, and then I lost interest in. I was wondering what it was about the person that turned me off to them. And today it finally clicked!
I wonder what it is about someone with a good sense of humor (which I realize is very likely a relative term) that attracts me so much? Maybe it's a charisma thing? Maybe it shows intelligence, or "easy-goingness", or "she-just-gets-it-ness"? Maybe I value my own sense of humor more than other personality traits of mine, and therefore I value it more in someone else too?
There's people I can think of now, people I still associate with, that I think are really attractive. But as I've gotten to know them I find that I'm not interested in more than friendship, and I now believe that humor is the factor that changes it all for me.
Sometimes I get torn though. Sometimes a girl just has so many good qualities that I appreciate, and when I'm not with her I think "I really should try to see if so-and-so and I would be a good match." Then when I'm around them I either feel uninteresting/boring, or uninterested/bored. I hate it, but I can't help it. It's not her fault, and I don't think it means she has a bad sense of humor, just that it doesn't mesh well with mine.
I can think of 6 girls off hand that I think I would be a good match with, and all of them are girls whose sense of humor I really appreciate. There are 3 girls I can think of off hand that I think have some great qualities, but don't have my kind of sense of humor, and that I don't think I'll pursue. (Although friendship still sounds great, but does that ever really work?)
Anyway, I've reached the point where I'm just beating a dead horse.
p.s. I'm not telling you who the girls are, so don't ask.
p.p.s. Then again, I may have just had my backside delivered to me by this. Make sure to read the whole post. (I had to click "continue reading" the first time, but I don't know if you will need to or not...)
Hi Bob! I love this post. Very true. But... a sense of humor is not always saying something hilarious. It can also just be an appreciation of humor. The person could simply laugh and have fun with you and find similar things funny. (At least that is the conclusion I have come to.) Anyways, I hope your summer is going well! Fondant, by the way, is a sugar paste that is very much like play-dough. You roll it out and it is usually found covering cakes to get a smooth finish. However, it tastes gross and I would never cover a cake in it! Thanks for looking at my blog haha I will post things more often now that I know someone follows along! :)
ReplyDeleteI agree. I think since I posted this that I've realized its more about me feeling like an interesting and funny person when I'm around someone. To me, feeling like I'm interesting is a good sign that I think the other person is interesting/fun. It also usually means they know how to have good conversation, which is important for me.
ReplyDeleteHowever, like the link at the end of this post says, I think I need to give more people a chance. I sum people up too quickly, and I think I need to start getting to know people past their surface levels in order to really make a good decision about who they are. Personality profiles are still important in their own realm, but shouldn't be used (as I use them) to figure out if I'm interested in someone.
Yeah, Fondant sounds pretty gross. I hope I don't eat any cake covered in it. It sure makes it look nice though. Maybe when you own a bakery you can use Fondant covered cakes just for the presentation cakes :-)