I don't even want to know

I usually have this urge to know everything that's going on around me. It's so hard for me to hear other people having a conversation and not butt in and be all "wait, what are you talking about? INCLUDE ME! I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO AND I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING THAT YOU'RE DOING AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO ACT LIKE I'M BEING ANNOYING I JUST WANT YOU TO ANSWER ALL OF MY QUESTIONS."


Just kidding I'm not nearly that bad.

Anyway, I just clicked on my mint.com tab on Chrome, but as soon as it opened I closed it because I don't even want to know what the finances are looking like right now. I spent over $500 at Kohl's the other day. Granted, probably about $150 of it was from Kellie and Natalie buying things on my card (not because I'm their sugar daddy (I HATE that term, by the way) but because they needed to buy it on my card to get the 30% off). Also granted that I will be returning most of the stuff I bought for myself. (That's just how I roll when it comes to buying stuff at Kohl's)

I'm in a weird mood lately, where I just want to do nothing. I'm still getting my homework done and everything (and I got a 95% on my 2nd calc test. Booya!) but I kinda just want to go watch movies for a week.

Anyway, I'm going to go to bed. I stay up way too late these days. And I think I'm going to go help some friends set up for a commercial shoot.

P.s. I went back to Kohl's and bought one of the softest, comfiest (wow, that's really how you spell it!) blanket ever! And what's funny is I was about to buy a different blanket that was actually even softer when I realized it was only big enough for 1 person to use at a time. So I bought the one big enough for 2 people :)

Even though I'm not dating anyone.

Oh yeah: how is it possible that we have a house of 7 super-awesome, fun, outgoing, good-looking and smart guys without a single girlfriend to show for it?

Run and [explain] that, homeboy.

Maybe because nice guys finish last? I dunno.

Peeing in the pool

So I had a friend the other day give the analogy that dating within your ward was like peeing in a pool. I didn't agree.

Then I was about to write a blog post about how I didn't agree, until another friend helped me realize just how bad it can be. I guess because I haven't experienced the negative stuff that can happen, I didn't really understand.

Now I'm writing a blog post with the conclusion that "peeing in the pool" is worth the risk, but with the purpose to spark a discussion and see what people think about it. Here are my thoughts (they are not very well formulated, and because I am inexperienced in this matter, they are subject to change. Leave comments letting me know what you think):

I remember having a conversation (I think it was with Ace, but may have been with Matt) about how so many girls (at the time) were saying they didn't want to give a relationship a chance because they were afraid of what would happen if it didn't work out.

We all know that high risk gives high returns, and modest risk gives modest returns. My question (and I guess my argument for why it is worth "peeing in the pool") is: when we are dating, are we looking for high returns or only modest returns?

Obviously we shouldn't only go on dates with people we feel we could marry. We should go on dates with people we think we could have fun with, and with the purpose of seeing if we could date the person more exclusively. Then we continue to date exclusively to see if we could get engaged. And we get engaged as a precursor to actual marriage. The steps are important, and one shouldn't be too focused on the end, but rather focused on the means.

But I've known too many people who dated and married someone in their ward to believe that it isn't worth giving people in your ward a chance simply because of what could happen if it didn't work out.

Sure there is a distinct possibility that one person will break up with the other, and it will cause awkward, crappy situations where you don't want to be around the person/try to avoid them, etc. That's something that comes with high risk.

But I would bet that most people who have had that happen to them have come out better in the end, with more experience and a better understanding of what they want in a spouse. It sucks in the meantime, but is beneficial in the long run.

I've spent way too much of my life avoiding risk. I can tell you from personal experience that modest risk has returned modest rewards. If you know of someone in your ward who you would date if only you knew for sure that it would work out, I say just go for it!


Take the risk. Because what people regret most in the long run is not having taken enough risks in life. 


(Just read the five points the writer of that last blog entry makes. They're worth the time.)

Strengths

So I wrote a few days ago about being real and named a few of my weaknesses.

Now I kind of want to talk about a few of my strengths. This is not meant to boast, but I do think I would be ungrateful to only illustrate my weaknesses and none of the strengths I've been blessed with/been helped to develop over time.

• Although I sometimes complain about it, it can come in very handy to be such a jack of all trades, master of none. I can learn new things very quickly and do them well enough to get by.
• I have gotten so much better since my early days (i.e. middle school) at communicating with people, knowing how to talk to people in the way they liked to be talked to, and talk to them about what they like to talk about. (That was a confusing sentence, sorry!)
• According to some of my best friends, my best quality is that I'm really nice and always there when they need me/they can depend on me.
• I like to think that I am very aware of my surroundings. Physically, yes. Socially, definitely. I feel like I can read people well; predict how they are feeling, what they are thinking about, when something is on their mind, what they like and dislike about themselves, etc.
• I'll sneak in a weakness here. Although sometimes I can tell these things, I don't always act as if I know these things. I'm not sure why. Still trying to figure that one out. So if you have ever thought of me as being dense, or "he just doesn't get it" or something like that, I probably did get it and for whatever reason acted as if I didn't... I don't know...
• I'm still learning a lot, but I feel like I have good advice to give to people. It says something in my patriarchal blessing about this. I'm always trying to refine my opinion about certain things, and I am always learning new things that change my point of view on certain topics.
• I am always careful about hearing both sides of a story before accepting something as truth.
• I'm usually very thorough. This is why I make for a pretty good editor. Although sometimes it means taking forever to do things that shouldn't take very long, and usually means being very indecisive. Whoops, another weakness, sorry!
• I try to be as caring as I can be, even on the little things. (Of course my roommate Tyler is probably the best at this). If I park poorly, I'll correct it (because I hate when people park so close to me I have to crawl in through my passenger door.) I realize when I'm being too loud, try to keep my music down when someone is reading, close doors very carefully to not wake people up. At the same time I don't feel like I'm a straight-up people pleaser who lets people walk over me.

Anyway, I'm done. Maybe some of you can attest to some of the strengths I've been blessed with, and maybe some of you can modify what I've written so it is more accurate.

Oh and P.S. I've been surprised in the past week how many people have told me they read my blog when I had no idea. For those people: thanks for telling me! And leave a comment every now and then!

85 is a good number

85 is a good number. It is the year I was born, AND this makes my 85th blog post. Just thought I would mention the milestone.

Oh, and the housewarming/ 10/10/10 party was fun!

And for only inviting people over the day of the actual housewarming event (minus a few people we told ahead of time) we had a great turnout! The party migrated from floor to floor and room to room, lots of cookies and candy were consumed, the people were friendly, and, of course, the countdown was epic.

Mel and I tackled each other  about 20 times (progressively more aggressively) onto our Love Sac to help her vent some guy frustration, and I admit I have a little bit of a headache now. But it was hilarious.

I reckon 10/10/10 at 10:10:10pm wasn't celebrated so thoroughly as it was here. Good times. (For pictures, check my Facebook Album)

Self... Great day!

Have any of you taken the Econ 110 class from Kearl? If so you probably understand the title of the blog.

Today was a great day! And not necessarily because I got so much stuff done, but because I did so much stuff.

That might not make sense. I wasn't necessarily super productive today, but I did a lot of fun stuff today.

And here's what I just learned on guitar (sorry it's an obnoxious lyrics-filled youtube video, but the sound quality is way better than the actual music video) :

Perfection

This blog post is definitely one of the best I've read in a very long time.


It says things in a way that I had thought about them but never actually said them myself. And now that I've read it I have so many thoughts about it floating around, that I doubt I'll be able to write them all and keep people's attention.


Here is my favorite part of the post:


"The cure [to the "perfection disease"] is so simple.

Be real.

Be bold about your weaknesses and you  will change people's lives. Be honest about who you actually are, and others will begin to be their actual selves around you. Once you cure yourself of the disease, others will come to you, asking if they can just "talk". People are desperate to talk. Some of the most "perfect" people around you will tell you of some of the greatest struggles going on. Some of the most "perfect" people around you will break down in tears as they tell you how difficult life is for them. Turns out some of the most "perfect" people around us are human beings after all, and are dying to talk to another human being about it.

You'll love them for it. And you'll love yourself even more."

So good! There truly are people I know who seem to have everything going for them - good looks, doing well in school or work, ambition, drive, great sense of humor, lots of friends, etc. And this is not to say that they only have these things going for them to keep up an appearance of perfection, but we should all remember that even these people have problems. We are not the only people with problems. We really aren't alone.

A friend of mine told me a couple of weeks ago that we are all a little insecure about ourselves. This isn't news to me, but it can be such a relief to hear someone else say it, especially when it is someone who has so much going for them.

If we treat other people not as if they are perfect, but make sure they know we accept them with all of their imperfections, we can really help cure this "disease of perfection."

On the other hand (although we definitely want to compliment people on their accomplishments) if we treat people as if they can do no wrong, it adds a pressure to them that they don't deserve. We should always be aware when someone might be going through a difficult time, and be ready to just be real with them.

So here's me being real. Hopefully I'm not the only one who sometimes feels this way. Maybe if I put this dirty laundry out there a little bit, you'll realize you're not alone:

• Sometimes I don't feel happy for other people's successes.
• Sometimes I assume, when I see people laughing, that they are laughing at my expense.
• I often don't try new things in front of other people because I'm afraid I won't be as good at it as them.
• Sometimes I question if I really know myself very well at all. And sometimes I wonder why some people even want to be around me.
• Most of the time I overanalyze things.

There are so many more but don't want people to think I'm depressed or anything, because I'm not :-) I love my life, I love my friends, I love my family, I love my major.

But even if you are depressed, I wouldn't judge you for that, because it happens. And you're not alone. And I hope that we're good enough friends for you to know that you can come to me if you need someone to listen.

Why nice guys finish last

I know you all probably have your own opinions on the topic. Here's mine. Of course this will include a lot of generalizations that may or may not apply to the reader, but honestly I don't care :) It also very much applies to everyone, guys and girls alike.

This also stems from things I've heard from a bunch of different sources, so this isn't new stuff by any means. Just a sad truth.

Here's basically what I typed into my phone when this thought came to my mind (again):

Kindness can come off as weakness. Jerk guys are seen as more confident and make a girl feel like she needs to work to make him want her. It's like a challenge. And it is intriguing. Someone who is nice and shows interest is too easy to obtain. There's no challenge. People like what they can't/don't have. So it forces guys to play a game where, even if he is interested in someone, he has to hide it and practically show apathy towards a girl. It's like a hook. When he does finally ask her out, she can feel accomplished, as if she "won him over."

However a guy who is a jerk (DB) never lets a girl get to the point of completely winning him over, but gives her just enough to make her feel like she is making progress. This is why some girls stay with jerks for a long time and overlook the bad things about the relationship (lack of respect, no heightened sense of self-esteem, or even abuse in more serious cases) because they feel like he is changing.

I'm not the only one to think of this

And it's so dumb to me that books like this teach women to play hard-to-get for the exact same reason: people want what they don't/can't have.

The game sucks. Nice guys finish last. The end.

Last nights in NYC

I don't even know where to start. Mostly because I don't really remember everything we did in the past few days. The last 2 days went by as quickly as the first two days went by slowly. Weird.

We crammed in a ton of agency visits, I remember that. Weiden + Kennedy, Droga 5, Grey, Saatchi & Saatchi, and Ogilvy. I also went on... never mind I just realized that was Wednesday night and I already blogged about it. (Man time flies!)

What did we do?? I guess this blog is going to turn out to be slightly more stream of consciousness...

Dangit I left my camera at home so I can't look up the pictures.

Oh! Thursday night was the Facebook Wrap party, which wraps up AdWeek in general. It was legit, with an entrance line and bouncers and everything. There was loud music with a hot beat, but no one was dancing. Enter BYU AdLab students.

We started dancing, and for like 20 minutes we were the only ones dancing, but we could tell some older (as in like mid-late twenties) people were loosening up to the idea. Then came the TV camera which filmed us dancing. Then small groups starts bobbing a little, until about 15 minutes later when we had gotten quite a big group to dance! Booya! Way to be the life of the party.... us...

I have had some great conversations these past two days too. I'm loving good communication! Things are so much better when people can know where you're coming from and what you're thinking. Talking with my sister today was awesome. We had a chance to actually bond basically for the first time.

Oh yeah and I walked approximately 1 million miles today.

K, I'm going back to the loft so I can actually get a full night's sleep tonight. Maybe.

Peace, NYC. It's been jolly.

See y'all back in Provo!